


Typical

by yeaka



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Asexual Character, Established Relationship, Ficlet, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 08:58:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3762283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeaka/pseuds/yeaka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bones tries to help and wishes he didn’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Typical

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Fill for tomorrowsdate’s “Asexual Spock” request on [my tumblr](http://yeaka.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Star Trek or any of its contents, and I’m not making any money off this.

When Leonard climbs into the back of the shuttle, Spock’s already seated on the bench, working away on a PADD. After two previous failed attempts to leave—both delayed due to Jim’s last-minute shenanigans—Sulu’s left, only to be called when the rest of the away team’s locked inside and ready to go. Leonard really thought they’d make it this time. 

But then they’d run into an Orion woman outside, done up in the local garb of jeweled fabric just barely managing to serve as lingerie and nothing else. When she asked for directions, Leonard declined, being a visitor and only knowing his way from the Federation consulate to the shuttle. But Jim, of course, stayed to try and help her through, which leaves Leonard along with Spock and no Uhura in sight.

He doesn’t have time to complain, though. He sits on the bench across from Spock, and his begrudging affinity for his captain and first officer behoove him to warn, “You need to go put your man in check.”

Without bothering to look up from his PADD, Spock asks, “What has he done now?” Spock’s voice is toneless, not amused, and his face is expressionless under the pale blue glow of the screen, nicely matching his crisp uniform. Leonard has to wonder if he left the ship at all since their last attempt to take off, before Jim suggested he and Leonard take one more galaxy-renowned drink at the local tavern. Knowing Spock, he probably sat here and worked the whole time. 

Some things are more important than work. Leonard gestures out the open hatch, where Jim and the Orion woman can be seen talking in the distance. The sandy landing pad around them is deceptively barren, when the rest of the planet’s been nothing but lush, ripe, and perfect for R&R. Leonard grunts by way of explanation, “She asked us for directions.”

Spock smoothly returns to his PADD, dryly replying, “Despite his somewhat lacking sense of time, the captain is perfectly capable of providing directions.”

“Are you serious?” Despite Leonard’s poignant tone, Spock doesn’t bother to look at him. Spock’s _always_ serious. Just as much to get a rise out of the impenetrable Vulcan as genuinely warn him, Leonard elaborates, “She’s _Orion_ , Spock. The only reason I was able to take my eyes off her is because she was focusing all those pheromones on trapping Jim. She’s gorgeous. And Jim’s promiscuous as all hell—which I mean in the most affectionate way possible—and if I have the right idea of your relationship, he’s not getting any at home. You do the math.”

“There is no ‘math’ to calculate,” Spock responds simply, still not looking in any way moved. “You are correct that Jim is not receiving any sexual treatment from me, but he was aware of that circumstance when we formulated our union. If he wished to dissolve our relationship, I believe he would discuss the matter with me before becoming either sexual or romantic with another individual.”

Leonard stares at Spock for a few lingering seconds while he continues to not look worried in the least. Finally, Leonard throws up his hands and grumbles exasperatedly, “I don’t know why I’m trying to save your weird relationship anyway.” Again, Spock doesn’t answer, perhaps because he knows that Leonard’s exaggerating, and as frustrating as he finds his two best friends, they are his best friends. And he knows how happy they are together, so he has to be supportive. Even if he doesn’t have to admit it.

Sure enough, in only another minute or two, Jim approaches the shuttle, climbing inside with a bright smile. He walks right for Spock’s bench, plopping down beside him and turning to peck his cheek. The Orion woman’s probably smarting for not pinning him down, but some of her sensuality’s clearly rubbed off on her target. Jim and Spock can be maddeningly obvious, even right on the bridge, but they’re usually a little more subtle than public kisses. 

Or it could just be that Leonard’s their only audience right now, and no one seems particularly concerned about the insanity he has to put up with anymore. As Jim settles tight against Spock’s side, Spock continues to work without any perceivable reaction. Leonard says, “Good for you.” A part of him is genuinely shocked—Orions can be irresistible, and Jim’s the most sexual being he knows. The rest of him is strangely unsurprised and a little proud. “You made it back.”

Jim just grins and chuckles, “You didn’t expect me to?”

Since they’re not quite on the clock yet, Leonard admits, “You _are_ easy.” They’re good enough friends that Jim only laughs. He’s too young and un-jaded to know the stigma that phrase used to have.

“Easy for _Spock_ ,” he admits, reaching a hand over to clap Spock’s knee. Maybe because this is _Leonard_ he’s talking to, who unfortunately knows just about everything about them that there is to know, he adds, “And even if Spock’s isn’t like that, hey, that’s what my hand’s for.” He winks, and Leonard groans, wishing he hadn’t said anything. Then Jim has to go and make it worse by teasing, “Besides, it’ll all be worth the wait in seven years.”

Spock finally betrays a reaction, turning sideways to look at Jim with what can only be described as a glare, emotion or no emotion. 

Leonard sighs, “You two are going to be the death of me.” And he sort of means it.

Still chuckling, Jim whips his communicator out of his pocket. He doesn’t even get the first word out before their fourth team member comes jogging up to the shuttle. Staying just outside the hatch, Uhura calls in, “Can we delay for another hour?”

Leonard looks around at her, and Jim asks, “Why?”

“I met someone,” she says, and then she tilts her head just so, giving Jim that _look_ that says the rest for her. When Bones glances past her, he can see the same Orion woman back down the way, grinning like a cat.

Jim gives her the thumbs up, and Leonard drops his head into his hand.


End file.
